Life..........

Life....never being complete if it's runs alone..and it is never being fun if it being laugh alone...

Loneliness is something that i hate the most, yeah at first i really taught it is fine for me to live my live alone along with my family and closed friends. for the first time my brain told me that i can live my life to the fullest without any hesitation and restriction. for the first time i think i have think wisely and act in rightful way......

Like the old says "Langit tidak selalunya cerah".....and now i realized that my bright full way of thinking is totally wrong and has transform me into a total loner....nah not super total loner but still a loner without any special person in life who i can cry and laugh with...a person who i can share my joy and happiness...a person who i can love and appreciate..and a person who can make me feel being love and appreciated...

the stupidity of my life strategy come out when one by one of my closed friend and family start to change their way of life to adopt the "settle down life solution" and "career focus in achieving the settle down life solution". Only then i realized that my life is a one lonely heart.

am i being pressure by my surrounding environment? should i push the panic button?...hell not....yet i still think that i still have an ample time in life to achieved of what i missed currently...hahahahaha

but seriously, having a lonely life isn't fun at all, it is bored and can kill you slowly. i have faced it for so many years and i slowly feel regrets about it.

am i a looser in life?....well i can say much on this, as it will bias for me to judge on my self. i do find a girl who i really want to end my life with, but sadly I'm not the one that she looking for. am I saying that i'm not good in term of look and life?...well if you asked me..i will say yes..i'm just a normal human, who in life do make mistake and totally not perfect. i'm not a good looking if you compare to any Malaysia or Hollywood actor or singer and also not rich and success if you do compare to any successful business person in this world.

bla..bla..bla...the most important thing for me, i have lived my life as me, that all. i never pretend to be someone else neither blaming my self for not being able to be a perfect human.

P/S - Morale of the story is don't event try to be like me and never let your self being alone...for guys who has someone in their life, please do appreciate your loves one as much as you can. your life will not and never being complete if you are alone.

twenty nine years

twenty nine years of life......

it's a wonderful thought that i have been given that much time to enjoy the life for twenty nine years, the time that i have spend with laugh, joy, tears and every emotion that human had without any hesitation. a life that i feel to short to remember all the person who has come and left me behind.

twenty nine years.......my childhood memories are getting more blurry, i can't event remember who is the girl i like the most in my high school.

twenty nine years.......i have forgot most of my primary school teachers name, who has given me their time and effort in educating me as a person.

twenty nine years.......i have forgot what is the most ridiculous thing that i have done in my childhood time.

twenty nine years.......i have forgot the high school teachers name who canned me in the public and for what i being canned in public during my high school time.

I almost forgot everything that i had in life...but why am i too lazy to remember about it? or am i not border to remember about it? or i didn't care for what has happen in my life? or am i too busy with my life and work?.....i don't think so..

then why all my memories keep getting away....the truth is...i really don't know the answer.........